[Time: After Remy's death, but before the judgement that led to Shakes' Jackaling and Tommie's death.] Lonely Hilltop This is a truly odd place, startling in its abrupt change of scenery. It is a large, grass-covered hill, without so much as a single tree on it. However, all around the foot of the hill, the forest crowds in, trees packed densely together. A large stone, perhaps three feet in diameter, sits on top of the hill. One face has been sheared away as though by a great axe, leaving a glimmering reflective surface. From the hilltop, it is almost possible to see over the treetops, but not quite. The greater heights of the eastern mountains are visible from it, in distant, hazy splendor. There is an air of peacefulness that hangs over the place, almost a sleepy feeling. Most of the time, few noises can be heard except for the blowing of the wind. The dark green of the forest surrounds the hill on all sides. Going any direction will likely be something of a struggle. Contents: Shakes Wayfinder Flowers Hazmat perks her ears curiously at Shakes, then pads closer to sniff him. Thoroughly. Shakes drops to lie down on the hill, letting out a slow breath. Do I know you? He doesn't bother sniffing back too much. Doesn't seem in the mood for it. Hazmat lifts a forepaw to lay it on Shakes's back, lightly, her tail raised in a dominant manner. She seems to take the other's reaction as some kind of submission. Watches-Pups, Rabbit, ~Hazmat.~ Trickster-Gnawer of the Wheel. You seem familiar. Wayfinder turns away from the two Gnawers, to go back to communing with the wind. Shakes looks up at Hazmat with his one green eye. Shakes. We've met. He seems really out of it at the moment. Issues of dominance don't seem to be something on his mind right now. Hazmat tilts her head to one side, snuffling behind Shakes' left ear. What happened? Shakes lets out a short chuff. Fiery Hand is dead. It's my fault. The male Gnawer's posture shows strong emotions of regret. Hazmat steps back in surprise, and then sits down. The crazy Walker? What did he do? Shakes sets his head down. He messed with our tribe, my pack alpha and our Kin. We were just going to mess him up a little. Things got... stupid. Hazmat scratches at her belly with one hind leg. It happens. Hand-of-Fire was not right in the head anyway. He never was. Wayfinder chuffs, sadly. Your tribe also attacked two of the Gaurdians attempting to referee the fight. Shakes nods. But that doesn't make it right. The Sept wants my alpha's head now, even though none of them liked Fiery Hand, either. He nods at the Guardian. Yes, Wayfinder-yuf. It was stupid. We were only trying to teach him a lesson and others... interfered. Remy wouldn't let it happen any other way. We wanted to take him back to the city, where no guardians would be involved. Hazmat stops scratching, her manner becoming a good deal less casual. They did *what*? Shakes sighs. No one did shit until the Strider pulled out his gun. And like I said, it would not be a matter for the Guardians if Remy hadn't made it so by starting the fight here. Hazmat shifts her weight, ears flicking backwards, forwards, agitated. Wayfinder sighs. Maybe so. He chose to fight in his territory. Maybe he was afraid. Did you ever think of that? Shakes doesn't want to argue. He places his head down. My alpha killed Remy, but it was his own fault. He tried to kill her last week and ran back to the Sept for protection. Then, we return, not to kill him, but to just hurt him, he made it lethal. It was his fault as much as ours. Wayfinder gets up, and shakes out her fur. Maybe you tell the truth. Maybe he did. But we will not know now, since he is dead. Hazmat paws the ground, still upset. Stupid, she says, not directing the word at anyone in particular. Stupid, stupid. A small, thing, but worse trouble has been started over small things. Why didn't you go to a Half-Moon? Why is it that whenever Gnawers come into Sept lands, it is to ask for something or cause trouble? Shakes raises his head, snapping it around to face Hazmat. We only wanted to bring him back. He *started* the trouble. Hell, we probably stopped more trouble than we caused. He was a betrayer of everyone. Maybe it was his father's blood in him. Shakes drops his attitude suddenly, going back to a slightly more submissive state. What's done is done. I'll take my punishment, but we did what we thought was right. And we -wouldn't- have come to the Sept had he not chosen to hide here like a coward. Hazmat's hackles rise slightly. But it *is* true that you and the others never come to the Sept anymore. You don't even *try* to be part of the Wheel. Why? Why is that? Wayfinder points out coldly that he was not hiding out, as far as this one knows. And a half-moon trial could have brought him to justice, much more effectively. She shrugs, beginning to pad down the hill. It is too late now. Shakes shakes his head at Hazmat. I can't control the actions of my tribemates. *I* have come out here, to try and learn things. All I have learned is that the Fang I asked to teach me to fight put off my request and I almost died. And others that I showed respect to here don't give a damn about me. We don't come because we're not welcome - even when we try to do right. Shakes looks at Wayfinder as she heads off the hill. Wayfinder-yuf is the only one here that I have found that I respect. Wayfinder hesitates, and turns back. Her expression is hurt. You did not respect enough to obey me, Shakes, even as I spoke as Guardian, which should have been reason enough. Shakes drops his head. No, and I should have. But I didn't fight until I had to. I tried to keep others out... nevermind. He collapses on the grass, sighing heavily. Hazmat paws the ground again. You're not welcome because you don't come. You're not welcome because everyone now sees Gnawers are Anruths. *Not* part of the Sept. Not *contributing* to the Sept. Don't you understand that? You act like the city is all there is, and nothing's really important out here. You go into the city and call it home, and that's fine, but you only care about your home. And whenever Gnawers come out here, there's trouble, because of that stupid coward girl with no sense and Dances-in-Pit, who acts like Chugs sometimes and tried to steal a Shadow Lord cub away from them. Hazmat is up and pacing by the end of this little speech, highly worked up and upset. Shakes looks up at Hazmat with his one good eye. Like I said, I can't control my tribemates. I'm not alpha of anyone. Not even myself, it seems. Wayfinder turns back, and makes her way down the hillside the rest of the way, then disappears into the forest. Hazmat stops pacing and looks at Shakes. Who *is* alpha? Who's mother? Who's father? Or is everyone a pup? Wayfinder descends the northern side of the hill, and heads into the forest. Wayfinder has left. Shakes looks away from Hazmat. I don't need preaching. I know what I've done. And I've always shown respect to the Caern and the Sept in the past. I didn't mean for this to happen. It was stupid. Hazmat barks to get the other's attention. I'm not *talking* about that anymore. You said you're not alpha of the Gnawers. Who is? Father ~Mac~? Shakes looks back, regarding the bitch with his good eye. You mean you don't know? Hazmat meets the gaze squarely. I only just got back from the north, and haven't been back to the city yet but once. When I left, everybody was drooling after Chugs like he was the best thing ever. Shakes shakes his head slowly. Chugs has disappeared. Said he went off hunting something bigger than he was. I guess Mac is alpha, but I wouldn't know it. He never says shit to me. I never see him. Hazmat turns around three times and lies down. Then I'll have to be it, I guess. If Mac doesn't want it and no one else is taking responsibility. Shakes stares at her, then lifts his body just enough to show a patch on his chest where the fur doesn't grow across nasty scars. Don't say I don't do shit to help the Sept. He stares at her, then drops his gaze. You've been gone too long. Someone else should be alpha. Mac needs to take the responsibility. Hazmat glances at the other Gnawer and then chews casually at a flea. Gone is past. Now, I'm here, and now is what is important. And you're not the only one to have scars, Shakes. Scars are easy to get. I have them too, see? Do you want to know how I got them? Shakes shakes his head. I don't give a shit. My point is that I got mine helping the Sept... You say Gnawers give nothing to them but grief. I almost gave my life for them. What I get in return is scorn. I want nothing to do with the bastards. Hazmat looks at the other Gnawer for a long moment. Then she asks, calmly, *Why* did you almost give your life for them? Huh? Was it for glory? Was it for the wolfkin? Was it for your own little piece of territory? Was it because you were in the wrong place at the wrong time? Well, why? Hazmat obviusly thinks that whatever Shakes answers is important. Maybe it's a test. Shakes shakes his head slowly. It was because Wayfinder-yuf asked me to go scouting with them, to learn something she was teaching me - how to smell the enemy. I respected her as a friend and a teacher, so I went. We were attacked by wyrmcreatures and I had my entire chest ripped from my body. She was injured as well. I had to run all the way back to the Caern with a sucking chest wound to find a healer for her. When I got here, they nearly let me die as they went to help her. It was not for glory or honor. That shit's for fuckers who are looking ta die. I don't wanna die. I gotta kid on the way, an' I hope he's Garou. Hazmat exhales, relieved. This was, it seems, the kind of answer she was hoping for. Then she explains something. Wayfinder is a member of the Sept. You're not. They cared more for her *not* because you're a Bone Gnawer, but because you're an *Anruth*. I mean, *I'm* a Gnawer and people like me just fine. And I don't suck up to people, either. Shakes shakes his head once again. They don't want me as a member, I think. Before this happened, I mean. I don't care - I don't feel comfortable out here. Hazmat chuffs. Did you even ask? Shakes continues shaking his head. No. Every time I asked for anything, they looked at me like an outsider. I wanted to earn their trust first, before I asked. Too late for that now. The alpha kicked Shadows out of the Sept last night. Didn't even listen to her side of the story, really. No one here gives a shit what a Gnawer says. Hazmat gets up, snapping angrily at the air, and begins pacing again, uttering small, choked growls of frustration. Her ire, though, is not really directed at Shakes, and it seems part of her agitation is that the foe is not here to bite. Suddenly, she turns and barks another question. What do you know of Shadowspeaker, the Ratkin? Shakes just shrugs. I know of two Ratkin. They both live in the sewers. The one you mentioned saved my life not long ago. Hazmat utters a growling little huff, but otherwise makes no reply. She goes back to pacing. Shakes looks around from the vantage point the hill gives. I just wanna go back to the city. I didn't *wanna* come out here in the first place - not for what happened, I mean. What do you think they'll do to Shadows? Hazmat flops abruptly down onto her side and starts gnawing on a forepaw. Who knows? Hand-of-Fire wasn't a cub, after all, and I don't think the Walkers liked him much anyway. Shakes chuckles under his breath. No one like him. Makes no difference. Did you know that his father was a Dancer? He told me once, when we were on Rite of Passage together. Hazmat stops chewing her paw and huffs a sigh, suddenly tired and not a little depressed. He probably did it deliberately. It's happening all over again, or maybe it never stopped. Shakes shakes his head. It's stopped for him. He was convinced that when he died that he was done for. Told me he was sure that he was going straight to hell when he died. Not that I believe all that stuff. Hazmat doesn't reply for a few long moments. Fisher-King. The Sneetches. Mac. Rolls-in-Dust. Rawhead. Dante. They were Bone Gnawers. They were members of the Wheel. They were *good* Gnawers, and other tribes respected us. More or less. Then a crack opened up between Gnawers and the rest of the Wheel. We didn't start it. They didn't start it, either. Everything's ruined now. *Still.* Shakes looks at her. I don't know most of them. I try my best, but everything always falls apart. It ain't my fault. Hazmat pushes to her feet and shakes herself roughly. Maybe *that's* the problem. Everybody's so damned concerned about it not being their fault that no one wants to do anything. Shakes shakes his head. That's not what I said, dammit. What I said is that everytime I try to do shit, it falls apart. I /try/, dammit. Just like last night. I didn't wanna kill the bastard... Hazmat growls and paws the ground. But it *happened* and it's *over*. Past is gone, and it can't be changed. It can't be fixed. And that wasn't what I was talking about, anyway. Garou kill Garou all the time. The *problem* is that there's still a fence between Gnawers and the Wheel, and it has to come down. Shakes finally nods. How? I'd help, but ya prolly wouldn't want me ta fuck things up again. Hazmat casts a sad look at the other Gnawer. I don't know, yet. She shakes herself again and starts padding off northwards, her tail down and brooding.